Right now I am currently doing the 6 week Bible study on my own of
If God is in Control,Why do I Have a Headache?
My life is changing.
It’s one of those studies that you can barely wait until tomorrow for and I am excited at the changes God is making in me both spiritually and physically.
I’m also doing the book Love Dare
by the directors of the movie Fireproof
I’m being very challenged.
I want God to change my husband Gene, but God’s pretty much let me know that I’m the project needing repair right now and to not worry about fixing Gene.
I think He also mumbled something about not needing my help. Ever.
This has been both tough and very neat as I am learning to love Gene God-style. Which means since God doesn’t think or act like Lelia, I’m really having to take a close look at myself. Having to humble myself and make the choice to choose change over attitude.
This morning the chapter I read in Love Dare was on loving Gene “As to the Lord”. God-style love consists of loving my husband with no conditions put on it which is what I do right now. I love Gene when he interacts with our kids the way I think he should. I love him when he cleans up after himself and I really love him when he chooses to listen to me run my mouth over watching football.
Now don’t get me wrong here, Gene and I both have things we needs to work on, but if I choose to focus on Christ and obey what He wants me to do, how He wants me to act…how different will my marriage be?
How different will I be?
How different will my relationship be with God as He sees me trust Him more than myself?
It’s hard and often I feel like just giving up and giving in to the plans the enemy has for me, but then I realize that God loves me…imperfections and all. And Gene…imperfections and all I need to love him “As to the Lord”.
The night before Thanksgiving I was far from loving “as to the Lord” that one can be. I initiated a fight with Gene and surprisingly he fought back. A fight that left our little bedroom TV broken on the floor.
So godly was I when I picked up the television set and sent it crashing to the floor.
I’m sure Gene awoke the next morning offering thanks for his oh so sweet and not-so-quick-to- anger “gift from God”. Truth be told, we hardly spoke Thanksgiving Day and I for sure said no thanks to God for the “thorn in my side”.
Oh sweet Love Dare book…the book I tried to not pick up for a few days…how convicting you can be. The words on these pages give me the desire to want to be more like Jesus and if you look at Him he wasn’t a
so there is much work to be done in me.
When Jesus got upset with the disciples He didn’t throw His sandals at them or stomp away from them. He loved them in spite of their shortcomings.
The other day in If God is in Control, Why Do I Have a Headache? Debbie asked a question that seriously pierced it’s way deep through my heart.
God has designed women to be uniquely used for His glory.
Women hold opportunities as
helpmates to husbands and as mothers,
teachers to children,
and spiritual neighbors to those around us.
Are you on board with God or are you dead weight?
I think when I read that last sentence all breath coming out of me ceased for a moment.
According to an on line dictionary,
dead weight is defined as
The unrelieved weight of a heavy, motionless mass.
An oppressive burden or difficulty.
While the definition of on board is:
Carried or used aboard a vehicle or vessel
In my marriage, with my kids, on my blog, with my family, with my friends, in my church, at work…am I on board with Jesus?
Am I usable to Him or am I a motionless mass?
Am I living a life that says I choose to live this way because I am living…”As to the Lord”?
I want to be on board with my Savior because sooner or later…motionless masses sink.
Guess that means no more throwing of television sets.
Poor Gene…at least Jesus knew what He was getting into when He chose me.
I tell ya, if it wasn’t for the fleshly woman side of me…you’d clearly be able to see my halo.
Know that I love you…
Don’t forget…the next YES to GOD Tuesday on line study of
begins right here on Tuesday, January 6, 2009.
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