I’m a Mean Girl

I’ve always been glad that I haven’t been able to relate to being an intentional “mean girl” toward other women. And then, this week on Thanksgiving, the mean girl in me came out. Not toward any of my girlfriends, but to my husband.

While in my kitchen surrounded by countertops holding the makings of green bean casserole and cornbread, I was saying unkind things under my breath about my husband. Quiet enough for the grandkids not to hear, but loud enough for Jesus to hear when they were still a thought. He responded to me with four words.

You’re a Mean Girl.  


I was upset with my husband, and I let him know it.  Through my tone of voice, in my words never to be found in the Bible, in my slamming of doors, and even by way of the looks I put in an arrow and shot his way. I made the meanest of all girls look like she was wearing a halo while I donned her Diva crown.

Jesus saying I was being a Mean Girl made me realize that even when I get upset with my husband, pleasing God with my thoughts, words and actions must override trying to prove I’m right and he is wrong. I need to respect Him by respecting him. 

•A Mean Girl causes her husband to want to live on the corner of the roof instead of in the house sitting in front of the TV, remote in hand in a comfy chair. {Proverbs 21:9}

*A Wise Woman brings her husband good, not harm. {Proverbs 31:11}

•A Mean Girl speaks reckless words instead of healing ones. {Proverbs 12:18}

*A Wise Woman has faithful instruction on her tongue. {Proverbs 31:26}

•A Mean Girl isn’t patient and doesn’t overlook an offense. {Proverbs 19:11}

*A Wise Woman fears the Lord {Proverbs 31:30}

I want my husband to see Jesus in my face, not the scowl of a Mean Girl. Thankful to the Lord for showing me on Thanksgiving Day what is pleasing in His sight.

If you drive by our house and notice Gene sitting on the corner of our roof, feel free to stop by and slap the Mean Girl out of me. In love, of course, but slap hard. 🙂



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8 Responses to I’m a Mean Girl

  1. pvarble1 says:

    This hits me so deep and hard. Struggling with the mean girl in me that is hurting so deeply that it seems nothing but her comes out. Being hurt doesn’t excuse the mean girl but right now all I can see is pain. 🙁 Thanks for this poignant post.

    • hi pvarble1, i’ve prayed for u, sis. i used to have only the mean girl speak for me, as well. i had to deal with my hurts n pains, bring them uncovered, with open, heartfelt honesty. i had to let ALL that was within me bless the Lord, even my honest anger and streams of endless tears. beauty for ashes, hon. He did it for me, i pray with confidence He’ll do it for u!

    • I understand. When I’m hurt I can let the mean girl in me react and it seems things always get worse. Lifting you up my friend. Thanks got your honesty.

  2. pvarble1 says:

    Thank you, ladies. Yes, Lelia it is so special when a “stranger” ministers to another. I don’t see myself as a mean girl deep inside and I sadly reserve it for my hubby only as I don’t let the mean girl be seen by others. I guess a spouse has that “power” to push our hurt buttons and unfortunately turn on the mean girl. It doesn’t help when the hurt is steamed from the marriage either. I react instead of respond too often because of the all the hurt caused that I cover it and don’t share. It’s silly to put a timeline on things but I do foresee dealing with this in the next couple weeks. There are things that would not make it an opportune time to reveal all these hurts until after Dec. 15th. I think I do have a beautiful heart but it is so covered up with muck that sometimes I don’t know how to react except for “hurting people hurt people”…which mean my mean girl disrespects the one I’m to respect the most. Lelia, I love how you put it that our mean girl is revealed not just in words, but in tone, in looks, in glares, in those things spoken under the breath…Oh how I’m an expert of spewing evil words under my breath that is never known by another except God. Thank you both for the prayers.

  3. Glory to His name, Lelia! i believe the same. i believe we each have a story for a reason. glory to God for giving opportunities to showcase His glory in my story. God bless u as u minister to others through yours 🙂

  4. From a husband, thank you for these words.
    We have our responsibilities too, but it’s refreshing to see encouragement on the other side.

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